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Archive for February, 2010

strangely

though i’m well aware that it borders on astrology to pay heed to deadlines like months and years for anything other than planting seeds, and although there’s no good reason why the recognition that something happened a month or six months or a year ago should reinstate all the pleasures and pains and turmoils of the initial event,

it just does.

and it can be hard, and it can be wonderful.  and as silly as i know it is, i wouldn’t want it any other way.

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last night i had a series of such strange dreams, so interconnected with each other and with real life than when i woke up, i had a hard time telling what was real and what was a dream.

it was sunny out, stunningly bright and beautiful.  i woke up warm and cool and happy in dan’s shirt from last night.  we spent an extravagant, luxurious amount of time waking up, and  my dreams interspersed the whole morning.  sometimes we were hosting an imagined boozy breakfast for a friend’s family, sometimes we were making imagined breakfast plans of our own, sometimes acquaintances intruded with interrogatories.  but throughout, it was still sunny and beautiful, and i was still wearing his white oxford.

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the days are getting noticeably longer, and i could not be more pleased.  it happens in increments every single day, and yet it’s not until one clear afternoon when you look out the window at four p.m. and realize that the sun is still in the sky that you realize — ohhhh.  i love those moments.

i remember being astonished, as a child, when i learned how rapidly the earth moves.  the speed of rotation is over a thousand miles per hour at the equator.  the speed of revolution is almost sixty-seven thousand miles per hour.  and that’s only relative to the sun.  we are in planes upon planes upon

even when you are very, very still and quiet and think you’re paying the best of attention, massive shifts, the likes of which you can’t possibly anticipate, are taking place.

there are orbital shifts.  moments of punctuation.  they are fewer and further between, and they shake you and resort you.  i have had my share of them.  but on the whole, while they can be disorienting, somehow they seem not quite as fundamental as the shifts that sneak up on you suddenly, when you realize how much has changed, and you can only say — ohhhh.

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