yesterday i mulled over how volatile my emotions have been this week. i was unnerved by my own ability to veer wildly from feeling to feeling.
in the last thirty hours, it has only gotten worse. my mind is laying down successive strata of mid-grade anxiety — all for good reasons — and now they’re accruing into full-blown… something. i feel trapped, smothered, panicked, as if these strata are layers of concrete and i am underneath them. and panic brings with it a peculiar set of reactions. i have been furious, disconsolate. i’ve fallen into fits of laughter. to tell the truth, i seem a bit mad.
what i think i need — any combination will do, but the last item is mandatory:
- a mug of hot cider
- a football game
- grilled cheese
- a trip to montague
- lots of hugs
- a break.